When I Don't Know What to Expect
I’ve been struggling with this feeling that I don’t belong or fit in anywhere, and I’ve been dealing with a little more anxiety as I embrace a new normal in my life. 2018 brought about this rhythm of forced rest and self-care where I did the hard work of healing from emotional wounds and past baggage. I look back and reflect over that year just so I can see how the promise of God’s goodness and mercy followed me so that it builds my faith for future trials (Encouragement: Psalm 23). 2019 has me in a season that is equally uncomfortable and stretching.
Before I moved into my current home in June 2018, I was prompted to give away most of my belongings (living room set, TV, kitchen items, etc.). At the weird stares of most people, I was obedient and embraced a minimalist lifestyle. Well, on the verge of another transition a year later, I feel led to empty more of my possessions. After I lost the bargaining with God, I am prepared to own the exact amount of items as when I first moved to Atlanta six years ago which was my clothes, accessories, and a box or two of sentimental items. I won’t call it a full circle moment because I don’t have enough stuff to make a circle LOL. However, for as much anxiety this brings me, I do feel a sense of peace as God helps me to create space in my life.
One of the many valuable lessons I learned in 2018 was this principle of releasing and receiving. When we live with open hands, they are open to release the things that are not for us and open to receive what is. This also applies when releasing our expectations of what we thought would be good and leaving them open to receive God’s providential best. This has been the story of my life as I’ve walked through many seasons where I had to let go of things I really wanted, but it was in those seasons where God showed me the promise of Ephesians 3:20 and filled my hands with things I couldn’t have even imagined (Encouragement: Ephesians 3).
We are all walking in the middle of seasons we didn’t expect. That can be good or bad because adulting is merely trying every day and hoping you don’t burn the house down. If your season is filled with fulfilled desires and dreams come true, thank God. If you’re in a season that brings you anxiety for what’s to come, trust God. When you don’t know what to expect, expect God to be faithful, and let that Truth fill your praise and direct your prayers.
I don’t know what God is creating space for in my life, but I am not looking around to figure it out. I am looking up trusting that He already has. I pray this message brings you peace today.